I have really done a poor job of writing for the past few months on this weblog. There for awhile I was in a good routine where I would write almost every day, but the past few months I’ve been near speechless. Only one entry for September and four for October, so what gives? Well I’ve been thinking about my lack of content for the past week or so and have come to the realization that it’s not just one thing that has kept me from publishing. It’s several things that have caused a cascade effect of writer’s block.
For starters, my schedule has been insane since May. Every weekend has had something brewing, or needed attention. From company visiting, to business trips, to NPUG meetings, there seems to have been something going on almost every weekend. Couple hectic weekends with running your own business and that leaves you with a pretty busy schedule. A schedule that doesn’t leave a lot of time for writing pity prose everyday.
Yet there’s more to it than that. Alongside the issue of my schedule has been a few technology issues as well. I upgraded from a pa1m0ne Tungsten C to a pa1m0ne Tungsten T3 and it has been anything but smooth.
I made an initial upgrade but I never got all my apps installed and my data working properly. The T3 has HORRIBLE battery life and as a result has a tendency to die on me. I hope to write a more in depth entry on the whole debacle, but suffice to say that the T3 died on me at least 5 times over the past few months causing me to lose all my data. To add insult to injury, due to the fact that the device was returned back to it’s original state, a state that includes known bug the T3 wiped out my 256MB SD card as well. I lost a year’s worth of backups because of that infernal handheld.
Yet my bad luck with technology hasn’t been limited to just handhelds. As I type this, my main workstation is laying on a desk with the case removed. I had two fans go out on me. One is on the graphics card and the other is on the northbridge chip. I’ve purchased new fans, but I have to solder and splice some cabling to get them to work and so far only one fan is back up and running.
Just before my main box went belly up on me, I had recently reformatted my laptop, so I’ve been a bit like a man without a country. Some, but not all of my data is on my laptop and it seems like every time I turn around there’s a new piece of software that I have to install in order to get my work done.
And I’m Just Crazy
The final piece of the puzzle that has kept me from writing, and ultimately the largest contributing factor is myself. It’s not as though I haven’t had things that I’ve wanted to write about, I’ve simply allowed the resistance to take over and win. Each morning I sit down to write and then something pops up that should be nothing more than a speed bump and I build it into a roadblock.
For example, one of the most common “speed bumps” is the weblog itself. The style of this weblog is much more of an article format, than a traditional personal weblog style. My entries are long articles, not short to-the-point entries. On top of that, I include an image with each post. That entails scouring Google Image Search, finding the right image, tweaking it in Photoshop, saving it as a web image and then uploading it to the server. It may seem like a small thing but knowing that I won’t be happy unless I’ve written 1000+ word essay and found the quintessential image that matches the copy can make even starting an entry a daunting prospect.
Found My Voice – Now I Need A Soapbox?
Yet I have managed to at least start quite a few entries. I have 35+ entries in one state or another waiting to be finished and published. On top of that, I have several topics that I’m just itching to write. From politics to Palm OS, there are a handful of entries half composed in my mind and ready to be put into binary copy. Yet I haven’t “penned” these burning issues because for one reason or another I’ve felt that I needed a bigger forum than just my little weblog. It’s not that I don’t value the few readers that I have, it’s simply that I want to start a dialog and having a soapbox with a larger readership would make discussion more in the realm of possibility.
I’ve been entertaining turning InterPUG into an on-line magazine, or launching a whole new site dedicated to generating discussion on “bigger” topics – whatever that means. Granted, I may feel that I need a bigger audience, but without having the content to share, what does it matter how many could read it? Entries can always be republished on PalmInfoCenter, or Brighthand, if the respective editors deem it worthy of publication. Until then, I’m simply using the excuse of not having a large enough soapbox to act as yet another roadblock.
Time To Cut Bait Or Get Out Of The Kitchen
So why don’t I do something about it? Well, by this entry, I’m here to say that I’m going to do just that. Believe it or not, this article isn’t about whining about why I can’t write, but rather to provide a testimony that I intend to get back on track.
I read the FAQ on Stephen Pressfield’s website and I found it truly inspiring. Here’s a man who has written one of the best historical fiction novels of our time and he too faces the same demons that I do each and every morning. The difference is he overcomes them. So I’m taking his advice and dedicating myself to fighting the “resistance” and get something down each and every day. I’m not saying that I’ll have an entry each and every day, but I will at least write every day and if I don’t have the perfect image, so be it, I’ll publish it anyway.
Strip away all the pretext, planning and lofty goals and all I’m left with is this – I just have to write.