Stewie from the cartoon Family GuyI’ve been without cable for the past few months since Comcast turned it off and I’ve been on the fence regarding paying to have it turned back on. On one hand, I don’t watch as much TV as I used to, mostly because the major networks play nothing but crap. Not watching a lot of TV is a good thing because it means that I’m spending time doing other things. My weekends are much more productive because I’m no longer lured into watching home improvement shows. I’m actually out there improving my home. 🙂 However, last night it came into sudden, sharp, crystal clear focus, that by not having cable, I have been left out of the loop.
As anyone who has read this weblog can attest, I enjoy bicycling a great deal. The super bowl of cycling is the Tour de France and I’m insane about watching any and all coverage concerning the event. As it should be obvious by now, I’m a HUGE Lance Armstrong fan. If I’m crazy about cycling, and crazy about the Tour de France, then 2 + 2 should equal 4 right?


Last night my Mother invited us over to her house because she said OLN was having a special on Lance. The operative word being “special”, as in a one-time thing, not as in “this is a new show that chronicles Lance Armstrong so we’re going to have it on one a week!” I was expecting to enjoy my dinner and watch a special that talks about the 2004 Tour and how this is going to be Lance’s 6th attempt to win the yellow jersey, a feat that no other cyclist in the world has ever done. I figured this to be a prelude to the OLN coverage coming up a month from now. So I fix my plate and grab a seat in front of the TV and instead of Kristin Gum introducing the show with the familiar OLN fanfare, I’m presented with what looks like the opening to a serial television show. Then flash the titles “The Lance Chronicles.” I almost dropped my plate. :O

Let me put it into perspective for those of you that aren’t into cycling. Let’s say you really like the Tennessee Titans football team, or pick a team that you’re a fan of. What if there was a show that followed the coach while he was molding the team into Super Bowl champions, from pre-season all the way to the game itself. Would you want to watch it? For those of you that aren’t into sports, take ANY person that you can think of that you admire. Let’s say it was a musician. Would you watch a show that followed the artist from the writing of the song all the way to the Grammys? You bet your ass you would!

Ok, now imagine that you’ve missed a few episodes. You don’t know how many because you didn’t even know the freaking show existed, so all of a sudden you’re in what could be the middle of the series frantically watching wonder what the hell is going on. That was me last night. Anyone watching me would have seen what our government likes to call “Shock and Awe”. Here was a whole world that existed that I didn’t even know about. Sure I knew OLN had fantastic coverage of the Tour de France, but I didn’t know they had expanded to this level. Even the commercials were good! Jason Lee, one of my favorite actors, hyping up the 2004 Tour calling it a “Cyclism” and saying things like “Once upon a time is happening now… in real time”. I was like a 15 year-old girl sitting in front of her television set when the Beatles came on. I literally screamed. 🙂

“How was it no one told me about this?” raced through my mind. As well as questions like, “Who would keep this from me?”. But before I could get answers to these questions, the show came back on and it was like salt was rubbed in my wound. In this episode, Lance was riding in the Tour de Georgia. I’ve heard of the Tour de Georgia, but I sure as hell didn’t know Lance was riding in it! Not only that, this particular episode highlighted one of the major stages that dipped into Tennessee. My Mom made the comment, “I know where that is. That’s only about two hours from here.” I cut her a look that almost took off her head and in the vein of Monica Geller said “I KNOW!”

The agony of it all. Here was Lance, back in April, riding in a race just a few hours from my home and I missed it. That was the nail in the coffin of who was to blame – it was me. What kind of fan am I if I didn’t know he was riding in the Tour de Georgia? Yes I knew that he rode in the Ride for the Roses in Austin and that sometimes does a charity ride in San Francisco, but this was his first time in this race and I missed it. 🙁

The show itself was pretty good. It wasn’t great mind you, but it did show some insight into what Lance is going through getting ready for this year’s Tour. The other OLN coverage is equally as good, if not better and a one hour visit to my mother’s apartment turned into two in the blink of an eye. With one month left to go before the start of the Tour de France, it’s only going to get better so the choice is clear – I have to get cable.

Not only that, but I need to find a Lance Armstrong RSS feed stat! 😀 If you have any suggestions, PLEASE let me know! But don’t forget, “…no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall KILL you.