It’s been about a month since Gracie passed and things are getting a little better. Our friends and family have been very supportive in helping either by checking in on us, or not when we’re slow to respond. Personally, I’ve found it very difficult to return phone calls for some reason.
Overall, we’ve gotten through the worst of the grief and gratitude is starting to return. We’re grateful that she’s not suffering, even though it means she can’t be with us, and we’re grateful that she wasn’t in any pain.
Now our “I wish…” comments are about things long ago, when she was younger, like when she was in Pacific Grove. We’re recalling good memories, which makes us smile and laugh, so it’s more about the good times and less about her last few days with us.
After few other notes:
- We don’t break down and cry all the time but random things do trigger that type of response.
- The house is too quiet. She wasn’t a loud dog but her absence is very noticeable.
- I feel silly for being so forlorn for so long over a family pet.
- We received more condolence cards than Christmas cards this year.
- Just before the New Year, Holly picked up the paw print that PetMed made. It’s so tiny.
- The cats have adjusted – Tumini doesn’t howl like she did the first week.
- So many routines are being changed, like driving, or going to bed and – at least for now – is a downer.
- Simple tasks just aren’t as fun as they used to be.
I accidentally deleted my WordPress database and had to get tech support to restore it. It happened shortly after my previous post. Nothing like making a really stupid mistake right after posting a gut wrenching entry and then sharing it on Twitter. I had to laugh at just how bone-headed that mistake was.
Most days are better than the one before but usually one day a week is a real stinker. Sometimes I feel guilty for moving on, or feeling excited about something, but I know that this is all part of the process. Our missing her will never truly go away but we’re getting there. We’re making progress.